Saturday, April 16, 2011

Being vs Doing - Costa Rica 3/28/11

Being in Costa Rica has been a rich healing experience for me. And I mean Being. That’s what it’s about, that’s my life learning. I’ve been a Doer my whole life, my identity has been focused on what I achieve and what I plan to achieve – I’m a 3 on the enneagram! It’s awesome being a manifester, but I’m learning more and more about what it means to manifest. When I am guided (“prompted”) to do something, then I take action. When I really feel into what feels good to manifest, then I am on the right track. It’s not about making something happen, but to cultivate what I am guided to do.

All said, what I’ve really needed is to Do nothing.

I don’t remember another time in my life when I really did this for more than a few days. when I was on vacation, I kept busy. When I was grieving, I was grieving. When I was doing a meditation retreat or pancha karma I was focused on the cleansing and meditation. There was always something to Do.

I’m listening more to what I need, what my soul needs, what my body needs, what my mind needs. I’m fasting for 2 days, and it might go to 3 or 4. I’ve never fasted for more than a day (for colonoscopy prep), and certainly without complaining!

I’ve reconnected to Source. After Jason died I stayed very connected, but since we’ve been on our travel journey with so much change, something shifted. I wasn’t as connected, and I was feeling unsettled and low. I was part of an earth-based healing ritual a few days ago that revived my Connection. I have been feeling embraced by the Mother, and I hold her inside me to embrace others. I’m reconnected to myself.

I’m doing nothing, Being (what/who) “I am”, and feeling so at peace with that for the first time in my life.